i deleted a blog that i wrote it so sleepily last nite. it was a stressful nite. so many things happen and i mus say i am not settling things well. im being too disturbed by things that are not happening and im not what i am supposed to be. calm, serious, happy. i keep thinking of things that might happen when in fact i need not do so and get on with life. its all this fear.. fear that creeps me so much til it changes my whole mindset of life. i should nt take that as an excuse as i should stand away from it and get on with life. come on gal.. u are not hurting urself but also the people around u.. stop questioning what if.. it will only make u more paranoid as the days go past. i am sorry baby for hurting u if i have been so paranoid these days. really sorry.i will get over this period of time..
production is having lots of prob.. yest we have to confirm the venue and date we want, and we have to find a new director immediately. new director, means new play, new play means more work, more work means more stress, and that means my holiday will almost be burnt. i almost became a director out of desperation which means i wun have enuff time for baby.. argh.. and i told myself never to do that.. baby is my everything at the moment.. think its very pressurizing to tell him that, thats y i never dare to. or even if i did, i jus put it blatantly.. i dun wan baby to be so stressed by me which i noe i wil have a tendency to do it.. hope baby can keep his cool and keep his little baby down.. argh
anyway found two interested parties to be directors.. but what can i say? thats a little too much.. cos its not practical to have two co directors as differenet pple have different artistic flair and outlook of stage, jus pray that we can solve this prob.. we have confimed the date of production, dec. dun wan to drag that any further.. with that deadline.. everything wi. be so pressing. its crazy... i think marketing, publicity and promotion is going to go all out this holiday.. hope everything will be fine.. and i really hope so.. want to make this thing a success though i m not the one heading it.. but at least for val who is her last yr and spending precious time with us. last nite while hvingmeeting in her room , her bf came and when he saw the full room, he left. i supposed they seldom meet each other due to their tight schedule of work.. argh.. realy dun wish that to happen to them.... anywa i need to go for lessons le..
hope today will be a good day!